I wrote this post out on xanga a while ago, but it begs repeating because that's just how I feel about it.

Being a single christian woman and in your 20s can add an interesting dimension to your life. The average age that most people get married is in their late 20s, this seems not to apply when you've been raised in the church. The stages go college, boyfriend, fiancee, husband, kids. Being a christian single can be awkward.

So, because I am single and go to church, the women in my church start treating you a certain way.

We'll call it the stages of being a single christian female (see if any of this will apply)

Stage one: This is the stage immediately after college when every lady in the church realizes oh no CC is single. This stage is punctuated by people coming up to you and saying "I'm praying God brings an amazing christian man into your life." The first time I heard this I thought well isn't that nice. This stage doesn't really have an end to it, it serves as a springboard for stage two...

Stage two: This is the 'any eligible man that walks upright and declares a love for Jesus is a potential mate' stage. You know this stage well because any guy who comes to church becomes my next husband. A guy preached at our church this past weekend and it is well known he's single, you know how that turned out. There was a committee of women who discussed the potential of our relationship. That was nipped thank goodness. I am not completely new to this stage but I have graduated from people in my youth group wanting to set me up to the women in the church. I'm in the big leagues now!

Stage three: The divorcees and widowers stage. I am not here yet (and may this time never come), but it looks like every single guy that is available (divorcees and widowers) will become my next blind date.

Now tell me you've not seen this happen to others (or yourself). Be kind to your single people!





Just biding my time

The internet is great in the possibilities that it opens up. I can look up music, chat with my friends, research my family name. It's the possibilities that makes it so great.

But there is a darker side of the internet. The predators, the spam, the inappropriate websites, and that's just part.

So the question I ask myself is...Is that guy trying to pick me up on the internet ok?

I blog as a form of expression, never to pick up guys. Though I have thought about E-Harmony, I don't because something in me is nervous about the whole online love thing. I have detected some interest from a guy when he responds to some of my entries (not on here), and I don't know whether to just ignore it or be clear that I'm not into exploring a relationship with him.

Now this is complete speculation on my part...Maybe he is lonely, or says overly sweet things to all the girls whose blogs he reads, or maybe he is a psycho killer.

Personally, I'm not comfortable enough with the whole online dating thing to even look into it.

Revelife did a entry on what steps a single should take to find "the one" and I too wonder if I need to do more find him. I just don't know if that includes encouraging the advances of some guy on the internet.

And maybe that's why I'm still single.

I detect some internet interest, I just don't know what I should do about it.

I am single

That is not a big surprise...to anyone really.

But the thing I think about is whether or not getting married is what's in the plan for me.

Not that I don't REALLY REALLY want to get married, but I wonder (considering my terminal singleness at this time) sometimes if I'm cut out for marriage.

You know that feeling? Am I worthy of marriage, am I ok with my baggage to the point that I can allow someone else to look into my luggage, am I even willing to give up myself enough to be with someone when I've never even been in a relationship before?

These are some heavy question that I seriously consider.

Though I am sometimes frustrated by my apparent unapproachableness, being single really is comfortable because I know it. I know what it is to depend on myself, to trust God, and so on. At this point, being with someone is very unfamiliar territory almost dangerous and scary.

I'm not one of those girls who had a time table for when I was going to be married or a plan to have my first child before 30 years old. But like every girl I do hope I'm great enough a pick that someone would have snatched me up by now.

Doesn't someone else think I'm hot stuff here?

Come on PEOPLE!

So I am wondering what the outcome will be in a few years for me. I am 24 now you know, and at 30 will I have been married for a couple of years with a few children or will I still be single...Not quite desperately wanting, but maybe a little more comfortable in my apparent terminal singleness? Time will tell I suppose.


One of my favorite verses is from Proverbs

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5&6


I say that sometimes for the moments I really feel I'm desperately wanting and try and remember there is more to this life then a man to be with me forever. I'm trying to trust.